Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Carry Me Away With the Wind

Over the weekend, I thought a lot about the awful atrocities associated with bullying.  This is a subject which always leaves me with a broken heart.  Some of you may already know from reading previous blog posts that I was severely bullied in junior and upper high school.  It lasted until the middle of my freshman year after I was befriended by someone who changed my high school experience around for the better.



Although my situation turned around, there are still so many children out there who are beaten mentally and physically by bullies.  I decided to write a poem in dedication to those kids who are struggling to find their light and keep it shining from within forever. 

 


So without further adieu, here is my poem.  Mind you; this is far from its final version and probably needs a ton of edits. 




Carry Me Away With the Wind


                                
It is mid-morning and I am still dreaming

Of a prairie; grass tickling my face.

The sun is beaming down on my dog and me

And I fear I will soon leave this warm place.

 

The wind whispers calm, light words

Providing peaceful solace to hopeful ears.

They yearn for the expressions in my own world

To stop agonizing me with hatred and tears.

 

The sun’s decadence descends upon us now,

And soon, this bliss will end.

I crave to always hear soft whispers from the wind

After I make my one and final ascend.

 

They make fun of the clothes and sneakers

My mother works three jobs for.

They say I am a poor and ugly loser…

Their words drag my heart straight to the floor.

 

No one really talks to me in school,

Making me feel shunned and utterly alone.

And when people do have something to say,

I'm forced against walls battling their stones.

 

Facebook makes everything worse

While bullies post my heartache on their pages.

No matter where I go, I can’t escape these atrocities…

Becoming less of a person; no longer courageous.

 

I strive to be the best I can;

Achieving A’s and B’s in all of my classes.

I want to be a renowned doctor when I grow up

And travel the world to help the masses.

 

But the comfort I seek

Is found here, lost and laying in dreams.

They can’t hurt me until I awake…

I wish to linger longer in the sun’s brilliant beams.

 

Rays of light burst out

And reflect off of my tired soul.

They create such a colorful masterpiece;

Forming acceptance and admiration I long to hold.
 
 
 
I walk down towards a shimmering lake;
 
Ripples with crystals and reflections of blue skies.
 
I kneel down and take a look at my manifestation;
 
Only to reveal my mother's gentle eyes.
 
 
 
I fear what this loss will do to her,
 
But the pain I endure is far too deep.
 
I hope she will be able to move on
 
Because my body craves for an eternity of sleep.

 

Lord, will You accept me into Heaven,

Even after I have forsaken the life You gave to me?

My existence here on Earth is too unbearable,

And You are the only One Who will see…

 

See me and love me for all that I am

Because when I wake up, I am nothing.

Tomorrow, I will climb up that bridge and jump…

Finding myself in Heaven; becoming something.

 

The wind carries me back to my bed;

Gentle and slow as I wake from this peace.

I will hug my mother and kiss her goodbye today,

Only to let her go; my one and final release.

 

After dinner, I walk towards the bridge.

Butterflies filled with fear form in my stomach.

Then I close my eyes and dream of tranquility

Before I look up and make one final plummet.

 

The wind begins to pick up,

And soft words are carried from afar.

For a moment, I think I am dreaming.

I open my eyes and notice an iridescent star.

 

 It stands out among the rest

In the vastly painted, black sky.

Then a voice in the breeze calms my soul,

And I slowly begin to cry.

 

“You are uniquely crafted,” the voice says.

“Like that one star in the sky.

Please step back from the ledge,

And do not give the world your last goodbye.”

 

I suddenly step back

And glance over towards the wind.

Could this be an angel

Or perhaps someone buried deep within?

 

“You are destined to be great,” the voice continues,

“And each and every human plays a part.

Life is too precious of a gift from God

To have others make you think you are not smart.”

 

“Bullies may bring you down

And steer you away from your dreams.

But you are stronger than they are

And more incandescent than any sun’s beams.”

 

“When they make fun of you,

Simply think to yourself and walk away.

Imagine the doctor and father

You are destined to be someday.”

 

“You will always make friends

No matter where you go in time.

This is just the beginning

So don’t give up on the climb.”

 

The voice slowly disintegrated

As I gazed up at the same radiant star.

It was still shining impeccably;

I knew it would always guide me from afar.

 

I took the long way home

And gathered up all of my thoughts.

When I arrived, I ran toward my mother

And hugged her with all of my heart.

 

She asked me where I had been that evening,

And why I was holding her so tight.

I whispered in her ear, “I love you, Mom…

Thank you for giving me such a luminous life.”
 
 
 
 
Do you like to read or write poetry?  How do you feel about bullying?  Have you or anyone you know ever been bullied?
 
 

32 comments:

  1. Powerful poem, Gina.

    I haven't written a poem in a long time but I used to love to write them.

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    1. Thank you, Kelly. It's been a while since I have written one so I wanted to dabble in it a bit. You should give it a go=)

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  2. Wow. Powerful, moving and beautiful.
    Hugs,

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    1. Thank you so much, Sandra. That is very kind of you to say. Hugs!

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  3. Such a heartfelt poem. I enjoy poetry, but haven't written any poems in a while. I used to all the time when I was younger.

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    1. Thank you, Medeia. I, too, have written a lot of poetry when I was younger; especially during my college years. There is something so freeing about them.

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  4. Beautiful, Gina. I remember what it was like to be bullied, and for no reason other than a name. A name I couldn't change. Kids can be so mean. I actually kept my oldest home and started home schooling him because in preschool he joined the group of bullies. Ug, right? Well, nine years later he's one of the kindest, most sensitive people I know. I occasionally wonder who he would be if I'd let him stay in that environment.

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  5. Wow, Crystal. This is incredible to hear... about your son. I really admire women who home school their children. There was a time when I didn't understand this way of teaching but to be honest, if I had my own kids, I would definitely give it more thought; especially in this day and age.
    It's terrible how mean children are sometimes and how easily manipulated they can be by other kids. I remember not fitting in and almost going toward the dark side in order to not be harassed. I'm glad I stood my ground and continued to focus on my studies and further my education instead of participating in the devastation of my peers' junior and high school experience.

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  6. Lovely, Gina. I've written a few really horrible poems in my time (nothing that I'd ever be brave enough to share!) so thanks for sharing this with us.

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    1. Thank you, Quanie=) I wasn't sure if this one was ready to share yet but I felt that I had to... even if the edits aren't quite there yet!

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  7. Hey Gina
    I found your blog from RippleEffex twitter. Very powerful and beautiful words.

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    1. Awe, thank you so much for coming by to read it Jccee. I'm always happy to have new readers=) And thanks for your kind words!

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  8. Your poem is beautifully written and heartbreaking. I got chills several times and my eyes teared up while the angel was talking. There were so many powerful lines, like this one: "Finding myself in Heaven; becoming something." You have a gift, Gina, there's no doubt about that. I'm honored to have read one of your poems, especially about such a subject as this.

    I, too, hate bullying. I was bullied as a kid and teenager for my clothes, my shoes, my weight, my eyebrows (I over-plucked them once), my fingernail polish (neon green, which some girl said looked like fungus was growing on my nails), my. . . everything. I can't even imagine how difficult it is now for kids because of FB and Twitter, etc.

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  9. Awe, Chrys, I'm so happy to hear how much my poem has affected you. It means a lot to me whenever I can strike a chord within one's heart.
    As much as I hate to hear about your experiences with bullies, it gives me some comfort to know there is another person who understand exactly what I suffered through. It sounds like those children were horrible to you but you know what? It made you stronger and enabled you to want to succeed and be more powerful than any of them. You are such a shining light and a source of encouragement for me. I'm thankful you didn't let them get to you. Sadly, some kids let bullies take away their gifts and ultimately; their lives.

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  10. Dear Gina, Beautifully written. My heart is breaking. U know that I never realized the extent of the bullying u had 2 endure. I would have worked 10 jobs if I could have prevented this from happening. Unfortunately our budget only allowed us K-Mart & Joyce Leslie labels. But bullies don't need an excuse 2 do what they do. It is hereditary. U & ur sisters were kind, sensitive & willing 2 stick up 4 the underdog, because that is how u were taught & how I was taught, how mom-mom was taught & so on. I can never 4get the "Mr. Jersey Day" story, because it will forever remind me of the extraordinary children that I raised 2 become successful, productive & loving women, whose lives r filled with so many people who love them. How many bullies, do u think will be able 2 say the same???

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    1. Unless they have changed for the better, probably not that many, mom.
      I guess the reason you never knew was because kids who are bullied tend to keep it to themselves. We don't want to burden our family members or get them involved with the school so we choose to suffer on our own. It's very sad.
      Thinking back to those days, I wish I had said something because maybe it would have saved me a few years from waking up and fearing every school day.
      You and Daddy Paul did the best you could and I will be forever grateful for our upbringing. I think parents should be more involved with their kids' schooling experience but I know it's hard with single-parenting and work/home environments.
      Something has to change. And although I can't fix the world, I will still plant little seeds with each and every author visit I am blessed to present to our youth.

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  11. Your poem is beautiful and captures the loneliness and fear of kids in bad situations that they can't physically escape. It breaks my heart to hear in the news stories of kids who took their own lives because the bullying was so unbearable. I really think adults should do more to look out for vulnerable kids. I am so glad you found a friend who helped you. I went to a rough public school in 9th grade after 8 years in a sheltered Catholic school and there were some kids who were sort of saying things and threatening to bully, but I think a certain gym teacher was observant enough to put a stop to it before anything really bad happened. I do write some poems and have begun sending submitting a few of them to journals. Keeping my fingers crossed!

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    1. Good luck with your poetry, Carol! I, too, am thinking about submitting some of my work to journals or maybe even contests. But this is just another project to add to the endless "to-do" list.
      I can't bare hearing about kids who take their lives which is why I wrote this poem. Honestly, every time I hear about something as awful as this, I cry. My eyes swell up and my heart shatters to the ground. I wish we could always secure our children's confidence but unfortunately, sometimes our love just isn't enough. There has to be a way to put an end to this epidemic... a movement. I'm working on something but I'm just not completely there yet.
      I do, however, always celebrate kindness and communication between peers during my author visits. And I make sure to draw the lines between success, leadership and bullying. Bullies are trouble and the only way to become successful in this life is to be kind, accepting and helpful toward one another.

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  12. I loved reading your poem - it was like a whole story from beginning to end. I wrote poetry when I was younger and depressed. There's something about poetry that makes it easier to convey raw, painful emotion. I really like that your poem did that, but then ended it happily. I didn't expect that. Thanks for showing the light at the end of the tunnel. :)

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  13. I'm so glad you enjoyed my poem, Lexa. I thought about making it have a sad ending but then I was reminded about my mission; to help uplift our kids by revealing the beauty and talent each one of them has inside. There were times when I didn't want to go to school because I was afraid of being shunned or harassed. Although I never thought about suicide, I know others have and sadly, some have even gone through with it.
    I wish we could instill the importance of talent and that it's okay to be different, smart and unique. Everyone has a purpose and it's time we show our children how important each and every single one of them really is.

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  14. Beautiful poem. Wow! I'm so sorry to hear you were bullied, but your story proves it just takes one person reaching out to make a difference in the life of a bullied child. Just one good friend. I was in a situation where I was bullied in the workplace as an adult, actually. A group of people ganged up on me and gossiped about me--but the bullying part is that when the bosses weren't around, they'd make snide remarks right to my face. I felt very isolated...as an adult you have the confidence to overcome it but as a child, it can be debilitating. I like to think bullied people become stronger through the experience and go after their dreams while bullies become nothing but "mean," as Taylor Swift put it!

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    1. I love how you put this, Stephanie. And you are absolutely right! For those of us who have suffered through bullying and chose to be the better people, there is a world of opportunities out there for us. We are stronger and more capable of reaching our dreams because of our past situations.
      Sadly, bullies don't really change that much as they mature into adulthood. I skipped my high school reunion because I didn't want to face some of the people who made my days a living wreck but I have kept in touch with others who were nice to me. They tell me how some of those bullies still act out and are quite "ignorant" when dealing with people. And what kills me the most is the fact they are raising their own children who are most likely to follow in their footsteps.
      I wish we could change the world but something so epic takes time. As long as we plant seeds along the way, we are doing something instead of sitting back and letting the bullies steal away our youths' (and even adults') potential.

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  15. What a powerful and touching poem, Gina! One person can make all the difference.

    I was excluded a lot in school, but I was too oblivious to the people around me to even realize that type of bullying for what it was until I was in my mid-twenties. The people in my head were always much more interesting than anyone else around me.

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    1. Thank you, Cherie=)

      I, too, used writing as an escape in high school. Before I was swept off of my feet by an older boy who changed my high school experience around, I spent many days and nights sitting in my room.. writing. This is the wonderful thing about us writers... no matter what life throws in our way, we can always venture into the depths of our imagination for comfort and peace.
      Well, then again, that just depends on our crazy our plots can get! Thanks for stopping by... I love what you said... "The people in my head were always much more interesting than anyone else around me."

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  16. I was bullied too and it had such a huge affect on my life. It still does in many ways. I was bullied mainly by one person and I recently connected with her on Facebook. It was amazing and strange and uncomfortable but I'm glad I did it. Your poem really touched me.

    For some reason, this seems to want to publish my comment as anonymous. This is Karen at Mended Musings and I found you through Paul at Message in a Bottle!

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  17. Hi Karen! I'm so happy you stopped by=)

    And I'm sorry to hear about your past experience with bullies. If you don't mind me asking... how are things now with you and that person? After you connected with her on Facebook?

    I thought about looking up some of those people from my past but I just can't seem to do it. I cried so many days before and after school until I was befriended by someone who also bullied me but ended up sitting next to me in my History class. Once we sat together and were forced to work together, her whole attitude changed. It's really sad how kids have misconceptions about each other. I always think about that move "The Parent Trap." The original, that is. They had no idea who one another was and tortured the crap out of each other. But then when they finally got stuck in the same cabin together, they were forced to get along. And not only did they like each other, but they discovered they were sisters!
    I'm heading over to your blog now=)

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    1. Thank you, Sandra=) Have a wonderful week!

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  19. What a way to take your pain and turn it into something that others can relate to. You wrote a beautiful and powerful poem that I hope you get out there to those who are hurting today. Shame-based cultures and families will continue to produce bullies until we can get messages like yours into their hearts.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Charli. As I mentioned before, although we can't change the world, we can still plant seeds by instilling the importance of kindness and acceptance towards one another... especially for our children.

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