December 26, 2013; a day which seems pretty regular to most people
as they prepare for gift returns, spending more time with family members if
they aren’t too busy with work, eating leftovers, finding activities to keep
the children busy during their holiday break from school…the list goes on.
For my mother, December 26th will be a day she
will always remember as she bears new fruits and embarks on added journeys
which God and time have been so kind to bequeath upon her. Because it was on this very same day back in
2012, she received a new liver and ultimately; her new life.
Christmas Day was a completely different experience for us
this year because during the previous holiday, my mother was basically a zombie
as her soul shadowed around us. Most of
her energy had already abandoned her body and left it to fend for itself. My mom struggled to walk, speak and eat with
us on that bitterly cold, desolate and borrowed Christmas Day. Unable to smile and laugh because liver disease numbs one's facial expressions, my mother was already a memory. She should have been dead by this
time since the doctors had given her a year to live in November of 2011.
As her soul danced
around us, an angel must have been parading throughout the house with our memories;
trying to find reason to keep my mother alive.
This angel must have felt the energy in the house that day; an energy
strong enough thanks to the determination and gratefulness of my mom’s
soul. This angel must have rushed up to
God’s mercy and put in a good word for her as our family quietly sought out
more time for our irreplaceable mother.
And God did just that. He granted this angel his or her wish (I’m
still not sure which one of our beloved ancestors was there day) and sent a
liver to Lady of Lourdes hospital for my mother on December 26th, 2012. We don’t know where the liver came from or
who the donar was but one thing is for sure, as God granted one angel’s wish,
He welcomed another into His Kingdom. I
believe in doing so, He knew my mother still had work to do here for Him and
since this angel was so convincing, a priceless exchange was made and the fate
of my mother was changed in the favor of God’s gracious and merciful
hands.
My mom’s work has begun as her story has already changed the
lives of people who have been struggling with alcoholism. She is helping people to understand that this
isn’t just something one decides to engage with each and every single day. Alcoholism is a disease; it’s an entity which
takes control of one’s mind, heart and soul.
It engulfs you, takes a hold of you, and ultimately, defines who you become.
God has a plan for each and every one of us. However, when we allow certain demons and
false freedoms to get in the way of our work for Him, the plan withers away
with every drink we take or ungodly mistake we choose to make. For a long time, I wished that alcohol didn’t
have such an incredible hold upon me.
Every morning I woke up after a night of binge-drinking, I told myself I
wouldn’t drink that day. Inevitably, the
disease won every single time as I found myself succumbing to a bottle of wine
each night.
Consequently, seeing my mother healthy and filled with love
and an unexplainable newfound energy is more than I could have ever imagined
this Christmas. The Christmas spirit is
about giving to others and helping mankind as we love and support one another (it took me sometime to discover the spirit this holiday only because I witnessed so many not celebrating its true meaning).
So our Christmas gift to you is
our story which we can only hope and dream will help change the lives of people
who are struggling with this disease or striving to understand that it is in
fact, a disease. There are many people
out there who don’t think alcoholism is a disease. Hell, I didn’t think it was until I saw my
mother bleeding from her veins, bruised, blown up like an elephant, as yellow
as a banana, and STILL DRINKING. I
didn’t think it was a disease and heck if I had a problem or would even admit
to it if I did because I thought I had everything under control. The thing is, nobody has this illness under
any kind of control until they realize it is a sickness and they need to get
rid of the sickness to understand they desperately need help.
I recently shared with you my step-father was remarried this
past summer. Over the holiday, my mother
and I spent some time with my dad’s new wife.
My dad is still struggling to understand how the disease works but his
wife, Lovely L, had the same internal fight as she watched her own mother’s
rise and fall with alcoholism. She
watched her mom suffer and fall into a coma from liver failure. Lovely L also confided in me that she knew
exactly what my mother had struggled with.
God works in mysterious ways and because my mom hurt my dad, just as I
disappointed one of my own past loves and best friends, he has laid out our
work for us and plotted certain people within our paths. People who will continue to help us rise to
the occasion and surround my family with the love, beauty and strength it needs
to conquer whatever obstacles lies ahead.
I believe Lovely L will eventually help my dad to forgive my mother
someday; a forgiveness which can only manifest in his own understanding. 
Even though
I was given a gift which was well worth more than anything a person could
receive, my soul still wasn’t completely satisfied because of the disappointment it had found in
what it thought to have been its counterparts.
However, I was quickly reminded that the Christmas Spirit comes in all
shapes and sizes. This year, it was a
simple understanding of the work my mother and I have to do here for
others. The Christmas Spirit lies within
the simplicity of the world, the kindness in gestures, and the engaging with
new and incredibly understanding people.
It lies within people like my dad’s new wife who even though has the
privilege of taking on the added baggage of a new family and all of its
problems, sees past all of this and welcomes everyone with open arms. The Christmas Spirit is giving love to one
another which is one of the most beautiful things God has always asked us to
do. And in doing so, we, as human beings,
are capable of carrying the burdens of others as we help to eliminate
prejudices, hatred and misunderstanding which come from the days that lead up
to Christmas.
On this day and every day which lies ahead, I hope to take
what I’ve learned and carry it with me for all of the days to come. Not just on Christmas but on every single
occasion here on after. We are all
brothers and sisters here…mothers, fathers, sons and daughters. There is no room for adandonment and even
less time for misunderstanding. Get it
right and if someone isn’t going in the right direction, take their hand and
show them the way. I love you all! And have a Very Merry After Christmas!
