"Only If For A Night"

Today, I wanted to write an ode to my late grandmother.  I reflected off of my own experiences and Florence and the Machine's lyrics to "Only If For A Night."  I had the privilege of seeing Florence perform live and I must admit; she is one of the most mesmerizing and intriguing artists I know of.

“And I had a dream about my old school” She was standing behind my sophomore English professor in a white, tattered dress.   Her skin; porcelain white, reflecting off of the decadence of dancing dust bunnies fading into the sunlight streaming through the classroom window. 

“And she was there on pink and gold and glittering” She took my hand and walked me through dark halls until we met corundum gems in pink skies...and a sun so strikingly golden and bright...inevitably blinding my judgment as we continued to walk toward the old church behind Alumni Hall.

 

“I threw my arms around her legs” When we arrived at the church, we were suddenly thrusted into her backyard where a cemetery once haunted my dreams as a child.  I was no longer a young woman but a frightened little girl; wrapping myself at the seams of the bottom of her torn dress.

 

“Came to weeping” (came to weeping) As I fell to the ground, tears poured into the graves of my loved ones, including hers.

“Came to weeping” (came to weeping) She wrapped her ceramic white hands around my face and lifted my head toward her captivating rapture.

 

“And I heard your voice as clear as day” It pierced through my veins like a thousand climatic echoes thrashing through the Himalayan Mountains of my most beloved memories of her as a child.

“And you told me I should concentrate” I knew I was throwing my education away because of my addictions and every other demon college had provided my tortured soul.

“It was all so strange” She stood before me; silken and cold, yet, warm and bounded by the blood and comfort of our home. 

“And so surreal” I felt her pain straggling to take hold onto all of my senses; almost to scare the darkness out of my confused inhibitions and longing for her to stay.

“That a ghost should be so practical” As sorry and desperate as I had been, I knew in my heart I should have always listened to her. 

“Only if for a night” I wanted to stay lost in her existence so I clung to my remembrances for as long as I possibly could.

“And the only solution was to stand and fight” I stood up as my rage banged against the hands of time trying to take my apparition away.

“And my body was bruised and I was set alight” Only to be thrashed back by an angry force; suppressing my fight for her to stay.

 

“But you came over me like some holy rite” Her existence appeared over me, white and sapphire silk covering the flames that engulfed my aching and crumbling body.

“And although I was burning, you’re the only light” Throughout my life, I knew she was the angel who saved me when I was beaten and left for dead by my sins.

“Only if for a night” I lost the fight as she picked up my burned body and wrapped me in the safety and coolness of her silken rapture.

“And the grass was green against my new clothes” After my body reconciled with my sin and His Greatness, she carried me to her old house among the meadows; the grass beautifully woven against my dress as we moved toward greater pastures together.

 

“And I did cartwheels in your honor” I praised her presence and danced in the light of my awakening.

“Dancing on tiptoes” I circled around her; my everything.

“My own secret ceremonials” I felt afloat as my feet glided against the grace of the green grass and conjuring of my newfound judgment.

“Madam, my dear, my darling” My nana, my love, my grandmother.

“Tell me what all this sighing’s about” Why are you sad, grandmother?

“Tell me what all this sighing’s about” You’re sad because I have to go back now, aren’t you?

“And I heard your voice as clear as day” Don’t worry nana, I will listen from now on.

“And you told me I should concentrate” I kneeled and nodded as I held onto the last moments I had with her.

“It was all so strange” She faded into the fires against the sky which brought us to this place of peace.

“And so surreal” I knew she wouldn’t be back this time.

“That a ghost should be so practical” My grandmother always knew how to make a point.

 “Only if for a night” Even if it meant ripping me away from my dreams into a realm of furious serenity.

 

You can visit the following link for a live performance of this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKTfugNaQpk